Here is my day today: get up, study for a while (buy cute shoes on ebay during study break); go work out; come home, have lunch and study some more (taking a break at some point to run through the music for my show); eventually take a shower and go to Starbucks to study some more, get a massage at 6:00; come home, watch The Bachelorette and study during the boring parts; study until 11:00; sink into deep, massage-induced sleep. Sweet! It’s a welcome break from my stressful, stupid job.

I have finished revamping my outlines – basically cutting them down a little bit and finishing the ones I never finished last year. So now it’s just practice MBEs and essays until the exam. I have started using my Adaptibar subscription, and I really like the program. It’s very easy to use, and the answers and explanations are very clear. So I should be in good shape. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, I think my problem last year was that I focused too much on trying to learn the law and didn’t do enough practice questions.

It’s good to hear from two of my three favorite blog buddies from last year – Poobah and Liney. I think of both of you often, and I’m so glad you’re out there! The third is Amanda – wherever you are, I hope you’re doing well.

Good vibes to all ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a separate note, I’m doing a show in Palo Alto so decided to go hole up at a Starbucks there to do some studying before my rehearsal on Sunday. Turns out that was a very bad idea, as said Starbucks was packed with perfect-looking Stanford law graduates studying for the bar exam with their brand new, pristine Barbri materials, diligently spending the first weekend of summer doing their practice MBEs. So that freaked me out and made me feel like a loser repeater. Think I’ll stick closer to home from now on!

Two of my friends found out yesterday that they didn’t pass the Feb. 2008 exam – I’m raising a soy latte toast to both of you smart, fabulous people. I don’t know why the bar exam gods decided to smile on other people and not you this time – all I can think of is that for some reason some of us seem to be required to struggle more in life than others.

The bottom line is that all three of us are going to make it this July! I know it.

My very best wishes to both of you – and other fellow strugglers.

It will be interesting tomorrow to be a bar exam failure who still gets to be a fake judge and wear a robe and sit on the bench in the San Francisco Superior Court.

It’s been really good to have this time off. Law school did such a number on me – it just made me feel like the stupidest person alive for three years – and I needed some time to get over that and get my feet back under me. It wasn’t good for me to take the bar exam while I was still in that state. Also, although I have been working full-time since December, I feel like my brain has gotten the rest it needs and has settled enough to allow me to start cramming bar law back into it. So I have three more weeks to plan, then I’ll get started with serious studying.

For a while, my explanation to myself for why I failed the bar exam was that I was just too busy last summer – I was working and I had to write that stupid paper over the summer in addition to studying for the bar exam – but I have revised that somewhat. Now I appreciate that, just as I did throughout all three years of law school, I spent too much time preparing to study for the bar exam and not enough time actually doing the work I needed to do in order to pass. Throughout law school I studied for each exam by preparing a beautiful, comprehensive outline of the course, then failed to leave myself enough time to absorb it and do practice questions. I think I did the same thing with the bar exam – I spent too much time preparing and reviewing my outlines and didn’t leave enough time to do practice questions. So this year I will be more focused on doing practice essays and MBEs.

That’s it for now!

For now, I’m working at the law clerk job that I’ve had since Dec. 3, and while it’s not my dream job it’s absorbing and often interesting. The big challenge there is developing systems and strategies for managing a huge litigation caseload with woefully inadequate personnel and resources, and I’m able to draw on my 17 years of experience and my law school education in figuring it all out. I also write complaints and motions and do legal research, so I feel like I’m keeping my skills up. So that’s what I’m doing for now.

I wish the February repeaters the best of luck – I’m pulling for you!

I will have to snap out of it by tomorrow because I am going to start a new law clerk job. The people who hired me love me for my litigation experience, and don’t seem to care about the bar exam at all. They seem very nice, and are amenable to letting me have 2 weeks off for the bar exam, which is good. So we’ll see. It definitely isn’t where I thought I would be 6 months after graduating from law school, but I’m trying not to dwell on that too much because asking myself the “how on earth did I get here” question makes me insane.

I had a dream last night that I passed the bar exam on my second try, then I was kind of mad all day because it was one of those really realistic dreams where you don’t figure out until you’ve been awake for a while that it wasn’t real. The night before that I had a much better dream, where I had an (ahem) interaction with Marilyn Manson. But we won’t get into that! Very few people know about my fascination with Marilyn Manson. We won’t get into that either!

I have started listening to my bar review lectures in the car. My new job will involve a pretty long commute, so I have my ipod all set up for Evidence and Wills/Trusts this week. I did Torts over the weekend. I have also started working through the Bar Breaker essay books, though I haven’t made a ton of progress yet. I need to get settled into my new job/new routine for a week or so, then I will map out a serious bar study schedule.

I have to register for the new bar exam. The testing locations near me are full so I’m going to have to travel, which adds insult to injury. If they’re going to fail me they could at least save me a seat at a decent location.

On a positive note, I have been reading A Civil Action by Jonathan Harr for about the third or fourth time. It’s such a good book. I also have been reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel. All of them in little bits at a time, which are about to become even smaller bits after tomorrow. I think I will read myself to sleep tonight and hope for good dreams.

I should change my blog title. Another day.

The person who made this, whose name appears to be Peguinskickass991, is a genius.

Oh, and one more thing – to the person who posted a very mean comment on my blog right after I took the bar exam (which I deleted) – you know who you are: please gloat to yourself. I’m too busy being fabulous to care. Thanks!